How To Really Act Like A Parisian

| January 17, 2015
elite daily

Source: elite daily

Words by Matt Huxley

THERE is a new book that has pervaded my instagram feed. How To Act Like A Parisian is the piece that has taken over my phone screen. Present in every blogger’s flatlay #minimalism; the book outlines in various detail how you can achieve that level of chicness that a Parisian woman has in bucketloads. Whilst this book might possibly be wasted on the plodding masses of the world, I feel as though I am qualified to give you my quick guide on how to be Parisian. After all, I have been to Paris once. #reallife.

First of all, you need to be chic as fuck. Basically that means lashings of black. Black coat, black boots, black dresses and black coffee. The only thing that should be white are your eyes and your cigarette (which you will have on you at all times). This will not only give you the illusion that you are thinner, but also let the world know that you are fashunnnn.

Next. Don’t eat. Seriously. The French do not eat. They simply do not have time. If they do eat, it’s liquid and it’s a salad. Ok it’s wine. Preferably red. Although they will go for a good Pinot Grigio. And do not guzzle. Such behaviour is unbecoming. Fill half of what you would usually fill the glass to and sip gently. You might even appreciate it.

Also. Take up smoking. The French all smoke (FYI smoking can kill you). They have a certain chicness with the way they do it. Do not grasp it like a beer bottle, you are not a heathen! Remember. French = chic.

daily mail

Source: daily mail

Also, attend as many cultural events as possible. Remember, you are Parisian, you do not simply wander down to the local for a XXXX! You go to an art gallery, or a magazine launch, or a fashion show! Or if you’re having a quiet one you invite 3-4 friends over for a bottle or two of red and discuss literature and poetry until the early hours.

Next up is makeup. The French are queens of minimalism, so this’ll save you a little bit of time (not really). You want it to look as though you have spent approximately 30 seconds on your makeup. In real life this will take you at least 40 minutes. You want a light powdering, some rouging on the lips, a sharp contour and smudged, day-old eyeliner. Piles of mascara complete the look. Don’t fuck around with no winged eyeliner! You are French, you couldn’t possibly have time for that! There’s wine in the kitchen!

Last but most certainly not least, simply look busy. You have no time to help someone, you are simply far too busy. Even if you’re just going to the supermarket in your 5 inch heels.

Now of course this advice won’t work for everyone. So in that case simply buy the book. At least your instagram will have a bit of je ne sais quoi about it.

Matt Huxley is a writer, editor and talent manager. He enjoys prodigious amounts of caffeine and has been known to direct and style the odd photoshoot.
Follow Matt @matthux1 on Instagram and Twitter.

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Category: FASHION, FEATURED, Uncategorized

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